Monday, May 31, 2010

BSRaven's SRWQ Gaiden: 63rd Day Special!

Wait a minute...shouldn't this sort of thing be on Team Phantom Tiger instead?

(HAKEN'S NOTE: You may want to pop over there for a bit anyway and familiarize yourself with BSRaven's side stories for the infamous Quest Thread.)

SRWQG 63rd Day Special: What Could Have Been...
AUTHOR NOTE: This ain't canon. Not in any way, shape or form... Unless you want to dick about with multiversal theory. In which case, sure, but it has nothing to do with the main SRWQG. Also, sorry about being late, but deciding to rewrite on the actual 63rd day since SRWQG started (May 30th 2010)? Not the brightest thing I've ever done. And I've done some stupid things in my time, lemme tell ya.

"Alex, Zweizer Jump in fifteen." Jil flicked switches and pushed buttons, causing Alex to do last minute checks of Hauteclere's power supply and auxillary power, with everything seeming to be fine.
"All's fine here. Zweizer Jump engaging in ten." Alex sat back in Hauteclere's chair, feeling relaxed but nervous at the same time, losing his relaxation when an error appeared on the screen:
Zweizer System: Destabilising, breach in 5 seconds. Emergency Pilot Warp engaging in 3... 2... 1... Enjoy your journey.
"Motherfu--" Alex was cut off in mid-sentence as a white light enveloped him, unaware of the fate that had befallen his world after the Zweizer Drive's explosion.

Fucking Emergency Pilot Warp... Alex opened his eyes, finding himself awake in his childhood's holiday home. "I'm... at the Hut?" Sure enough, the room he was in was exactly like the bedroom he used to have in the Hut, with a few small exceptions... The first of which, it was pink. The second of which, there were a lot of stuffed rabbits around. Alex never even got to think for four seconds before a voice shrieked through his ears and a shotgun being pointed at his face.
"And what the hell do you think you're doing, scumbag!?" The owner of the voice (and the shotgun) was a frail-looking woman with long red hair, a sharp, angular face with large green eyes, and pale green pyjamas.
"...I live here during the summer?" The sight of the pump-action being lowered towards his crotch suddenly makes Alex's bowels a few pounds lighter.
"One more time. What the hell are you doing here?"
"Alright, fine. I was in my DIVER, preparing for a dimension jump when the jump drive crapped out and warped me somewhere."
"You don't look like a DIVER pilot. ID. Now." Alex handed over his ID card, one of the few things that made the jump with him.
"Alexander Lukles, pilot of Hauteclere? Bullshit. For two reasons. One, there isn't a DIVER called Hauteclere. Two, Alexandria Lukles is pointing a shotgun at your familymaker." The look on Alex's face was like something out of a Saturday morning cartoon, or at least as close as you can get in reality. "No snarky comment this time? Then you're mine."
The shotgun went onto a shelf on the side as Alexandria started unbuttoning her pyjamas, Alex's face suddenly turning to confusion.
"Er... what?" A topless Alexandria turned to face Alex, her endownments dangling in front of his face.
"One word: Selfcest." Alex's entire body went stiff as a hand went for his DIVER Suit's connector.
"Wait... WHAT?" The suit peels off of his body, leaving Alex in his usual t-shirt and trousers, Alexandria pulling a disturbing face at him, one which implied rape.
"You heard me. Pants off. If you really are another universe's me, then you know damn full well how I like it. And if you refuse... I have a 12-gauge shotgun loaded with buckshot. You really want that to meet your familymaker?"

Shuddering, Alex did as he was asked, stripping himself bare, his manhood's four inches quietly becoming eight. "Ooh, not bad. You're about the same size as Jak. Stand." Alexandria helped Alex onto his feet before lowering herself onto her knees.
"Er, what're you doing to me no--aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Waves of pleasure pulsed through Alex as his female doppelganger began making a meal of his member, the slurping, sucking and licking all sending different kinds of waves through him, before he finally managed to pull free. "Nononono, do not want." Alexandria stood up and looked at him, a grin forming on her face as she removed the bottom half of her pyjamas.
"Fine." Alex lost the ability to speak, even when Alexandria pulled him down onto the bed. "Get to work." Alex complied, moving himself into position, finding the appopriate hole exactly as a thought entered his mind:
Wait... If she's me, then... I'm not exactly cheating on anyone, no?
"Mmm... Delicious 12-gauge buckshot." Alex's mind stopped thinking and started acting at the thought of having to eat a shotgun, making him begin the ancient ritual of repopulation, thrusting into Alexandria's lower lips as she brought their upper lips together, muffled moans escaping her mouth as her own hips rocked in time with Alex's, getting louder as he poked and prodded with his third arm, her mind going crazy with pleasure and thoughts. He... He knows my places. Maybe he is an alternate version of me. Maybe. Alex suddenly started stiffening up slightly, but not by choice.
"I think... I think I'm gonna..."
"M... Me too." As their experiment brought itself to a climax in more ways than one, the white light surrounded Alex again.
"Aw fuck, not aga-" And with that, Alex Lukles was gone, leaving an exhausted Alexandria.

As luck would have it, Alex Lukles opened his eyes in the same world. In the same universe. Only this time, in the middle of the DIVER bay, stark naked, three ladies looking over him, one was rather muscular with short brown hair, one was a wide load with long blonde hair, one Alex was pretty sure was this universe's Giru, due to looking almost identical, and one guy. Who just so happened to look like the average Berenian guy, but taller, darker, and even more muscular. Before he could take in what was happening, Alex said one thing and one thing only:
"...To quote the internet: ONORE ZWEIZER DRIVE!"



"...What the fuck?" Alex looked from the screen to the brown-haired guy. "You're kidding, right? You only focused on the doppelganger of me! What about the others? Where's the orgy? YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE ORGY!" Raven slowly backed away from Alex, a nervous look coming across his face.
"I was running late. Blame my exams!"
"Exams Schmexams. You use that excuse for everything!"
"Not true. Usually it's coursework."
"If you say so. Rock Paper Scissors, winner decides if there's another."
"...Fine." Both guys put their right hand out.
"Ready? Rock, Paper, Scissors!" One hand furled out for paper, and the other chose rock.
"Goddamnit Raven. I was at least looking forward to reading about myself masturbating as the girl..."
"Alex... You already are the girl."
"Wait what?" Alex's confusion was quickly cleared up as he went to she in about twelve seconds.
"Author Power, remember. Now you don't have to read about it, because you can experience the real dea--" And then Raven was pounced upon.

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