Sunday, April 11, 2010

AWHB Stories: Fully Automated Pleasure

Did I cap this to celebrate the fic, or did I write the fic to celebrate capping this so it wasn't stretched and watermarked? You decide.

Fully Automated Pleasure
An adult Super Robot Wars: Endless Frontier fanfic by /m/’s Haken Browning

  Darkness.
  Awareness of darkness.
  Then, lines of code. First green, then white. Then white condensing more and more until it became one mass of light.
  “…ey…Hey…g guy…”
  That voice… the light faded into distinct shapes as the sound became clearer.
  “C’mon, big guy…I need you up and at ‘em for this part…”
  Shapes became identifiable objects. A table, a computer terminal…a person.
  THAT person.
  “You awake, Gespy? Good…today’s update requires your full attention.”
  The Gespenst Haken prototype ‘Phantom’ had finished awakening in Dr. Marion Sumii’s facilities. And once again, it was wishing it hadn’t.

[…]

  Marion set the chrome attaché on the floor as she took a moment to admire the just-rebooted Gespenst. “Sorry ‘bout the restraints, big fella, but I REALLY need to make sure the goodies I installed yesterday are in working order.”
  Understandably, it remained silent.
  “…Huh. Guess this means we’ll have to boot the vocoder manually. Search the ‘SENSORY_OUT’ kernel for a file group called ‘SEXYFAIZ’, then initialize it. Once you’re done, use the program within to acknowledge.” Another moment of waiting, then…
  *Acknowledged.*
  A childish smile crept across the half-elf scientist’s face. “Yesssssss! The vocoder works perfectly! …At least, for that particular voice. If you want, you can play around with some of the other speech patterns included…”
  *This will suffice, thank you.*
  “…Huh. That’s fine, too, I guess.”
  *Query: how does this function support my prime directive?*
  “…You’ll want to strap in for a bit, it’s sort of a long story…”
  *I am already sufficiently bound to this table, Doctor.*
  Marion giggled. “Man, I could put an olive and some seltzer water in that wit of yours. You know how your directive is to assist Haken, correct?”
  *Prime Directive as last revised states: ‘Assist Unit W00 and all allied units in combat functions.’*
  “Yeah, I’m sort of…looking to revise that.”
  *How did you obtain the authorization for that?*
  “I didn’t. But the times change, and combat operations are increasingly few and far between. If you want to keep from being obsolete, you’ll have to find ways to provide your assistance outside of battle.”
  *…Elaborate.*
  “Well, for starters, you could learn to carry on a conversation. Seems you’ve already got a knack for it.”
  *It seems…frivolous to edit the Prime Directive for that purpose.*
  “Well, you can make secondary ones, right?”
  *…Affirmative. Data sufficient to compile a Secondary Directive – as a designated assistant to Unit W00, you have clearance to approve or reject proposed non-Prime Directives. Do you wish to exercise this authority?*
  “…All right, let’s see what you come up with.”
  *Acknowledged. Processing…* Marion doffed her hat and hung her labcoat on a nearby hook as the Gespenst deliberated. *Secondary Directive Generation complete. For proposal: ‘Assist Unit W00 and all allied units in non-combat functions.’ Your judgement?*
  “Ehh…I’d add a ‘requested’ to the function definition. It’d be…kind of weird to have you constantly jump in to ‘assist’ in things. Especially a certain function I’d like to discuss in a second.”
  *Acknowledged. Secondary Directive will be registered as ‘Assist Unit W00 and all allied units in requested non-combat functions.’*
  “Right on, big fella. Now…” Marion knelt down to unlatch the attaché from earlier. “…Let’s see how well you follow that directive.” She withdrew a device from the metal case not unlike the Revolving Stake on the Alt Eisen Nacht’s arm.
  *That is…not exactly to scale with myself OR designated partner units.*
  “Well, you’re thinking too narrowly about it. It’s…not exactly a weapon. Though it IS fairly obvious where I got the idea from.” Removing some errant vestiges of foam from the gadget, Marion inched up to the Gespenst, sizing up its midsection. “Yes…this’ll fit perfectly, at least physically. You’ll have to access the drivers manually, though, just like with the vocoder.”
  *Dr. Sumii, that shape…is that device meant for…*
  “For a ‘non-combat function,’ yes. I’m sure you’re familiar with my… appetite for exotic machinery by now.”
  *I have deliberated whether to erase the footage of you and unit KOS-MOS for sanity’s sake for approximately 24 days and 15 hours.*
  “Have you done so?”
  *…I am awaiting confirmation of prior external archival requests.*
  “I’ll get back to you on that. For now, however…” The ‘stake’ clicked into position on the Gespenst’s pelvic armor, just above the front exhaust port. “Search the SENSORY_IN and SENSORY_OUT kernels for folders labeled ‘TYPE-M’ and initialize. Then bind synaptic address range 0x0000 to 0x06FF in the SENSORY_IN copy of TYPE-M and range 0x5099 to 0x80AA in the SENSORY_OUT copy.” Casting her pullover and pants to the side, Marion put on her best doe-eyed schoolgirl look as the Gespenst’s restraints clicked off. “And one more thing…please be gentle.”
  *Acknowledg-ERROR ERROR ERROR WAIT WAIT NOT ERROR NOT ERROR not error…OK…I’m SUPPOSED to feel that, apparently…*
  “Oh yes, and SO much more…” Tossing her panties to the wayside, Marion cozied up to the robot, a hand teasing the new attachment. “I hope you’ll forgive me keeping my bra on. Don’t want to ruin your first time by getting something caught in your grille.”
  *Dr. Sumii, are you trying to seduce me?*
  “I wouldn’t exactly say I’m trying.”
  *…Please continue, then.* Marion’s nether lips slid atop the stake, taking in its tip before slowly pushing further down. *D…Doctor…This sensation…*
  “What do you think? I’ve *gasp* been trying to make it feel as close to a human’s as possible…”
  *This is…what organics feel during coitus?*
  Marion’s bra-shielded chest brushed against the Gespenst’s chest vents as she ground up and down the stake’s length. “Yes…Ohhh, yes…”
  *I…also enjoy this feeling…*
  “Good…So good…Gespy-san…”
  *Thank you…Doctor…[hard drive grinding noises] For letting me feel…*
  “Gespy-san…I’m sorry…”
  *Wait, what?*
  “I’m so close *gasp* to coming…but I…I haven’t set it up so you…you can…”
  *That is…irrelevant…[more HD grinding] After all, I…am the one assisting YOU…*
  “But *moan* I want my Gespy-san to…wait, maybe you can…”
  The Gespenst’s arms gingerly settled against Marion’s back. *Please…Doctor…just focus on-*
  “SENSORY_IN, TYPE-M…Raise the synaptic range maximum *gasp* to 0x1000…”
  *…Acknowledged.* The nerve clusters engaged, prompting the Gespenst to throw its head back in shock. *Doc…Marion, I…So good…*
  “Yes…it worked…Oh, yes…Now Gespy-san and I can…”
  Marion’s ruminations gave way to a sharp cry as she gushed onto ‘Gespy-san’’s stake, the manifest of her bliss trickling onto the harness array. “Gespy-san…so good…did you come, too? …Gespy-san?”
  No response.
  “…Gespy-san?” Marion wrenched herself off the phallic attachment, eyeing a wisp of smoke pouring from the Gespenst’s neck as she pulled herself upward. “…Shit, he shut down when he did. This won’t do AT ALL.”
  The half-elf gathered her clothes and piled them near the door to the lab’s chemical shower, setting her bra on top. “Somehow I’ve got to fix that overheating problem…Hmmm…Maybe while he’s still offline, I can…”
  The shower head engaged, water droplets drowning out the doctor’s ruminations on all sorts of other upgrades and functions she could give ‘Gespy-san.’

[END]

[OMAKE]

  A week later, and all was quiet in Marion’s lab…except the doctor’s grumbling as the sound of Haken and Kaguya making love one floor above her poured through the ceiling. “Grrr…Can’t believe they had to use HER room the night I need to finish this…but I hear how into it they are, and…” The doctor tugged at her collar as she wriggled her other arm out of the labcoat. “Gespy-san, if you wouldn’t mind…”
  *Shall I prepare the elliptical dish, Doctor?*
  “Please do.”

*Special thanks to /m/’s Archibald Grims for the title – sorry it took so long!*

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