Tuesday, February 2, 2010

AWHB Stories: V + V = W

(Yeah, thumbnail already has tits. I think we have precedent with the Tank Top thumbs.)

V + V = W
An adult (mostly) Super Robot Wars fic by /m/’s Haken Browning

It all started with Excellen’s eyes. Sort of.
              Following the recent shakeup in the EFA High Command, the pilot at the epicenter of Langley Base’s “Perfect Health Class” fiasco became concerned about a mysterious eye-based power she picked up during the incident. Those familiar with enough fiction to do so had dubbed it a “Geass”, but none had been able to recommend research or experts on the matter to an anxious Excellen.
              This was likely because that power didn’t normally exist in this universe. Luckily for Excellen, though, friend-of-the-force Gilliam Yager had recently stumbled upon something from his “Helios” days that could solve THAT problem. A couple weeks’ worth of elbow grease and the stripped-out core of XN Geist was safely contained at Izu, ready to act as a doorway between different worlds.
              And so it was, that a week after THAT, Excellen was in the Izu Base medical bay, being attended to by a specialist who was SERIOUSLY out of place in a world without caste rule, Sakuradite, or convoluted but easy-to-access links to the fundamental forces of the universe.
              At least the Pizza Hut and the high schools are still the same around here, Viletta Nu thought to herself as she shined a light into Excellen’s Geass eye. Even if they ARE a little crowded.

[a few minutes later…]

              “Well, Lieutenant Browning, the news is kind of a mixed bag. On one hand, your vision seems to be holding at about 25/20 in both eyes with no indicators of abnormal degeneration to come in the future. On the other hand, there’s insufficient data to determine the limits of your power – in our world, the power of Geass is split across a number of abilities related to reading or controlling the memories of others. Yours…isn’t.”
              “Well, it’s not like I’ve bothered telling people ‘forget what I just told you to do after you do it’ yet.”
              “I’m told the memories of that incident are rather vivid for those who were there.”
              Let’s not focus on that right now. Just in case someone who shouldn’t know is listening, y’know?” Excellen’s concerned eyes flashed into a curious brightness almost a split second after the sentence left her lips. “AlTHOUGH… You reminding me of that is getting my brain jogging… I think I can say what I’m thinking here.”
              “All right, I’m listening.”
              “Remember that Sea World you said you guys had in your world?”
              “That’s ‘C’s World’ – the Collective Unconsciousness that logs the history of the world and enforces changes to it.”
              “Right. Well, what if the reason you don’t have proper data on my Geass is because it’s tied to a different parallel thought-universe altogether? Let’s call it…’E’s World’ for reference. And instead of being a half-assed Wikipedia for reality as a whole – you’ve got Wikipedia where you come from, right?”
              We don’t call it that, but I think I get the gist of it.”
              “OK, well, instead of being Wikipedia for all of reality like C’s World, E’s World only covers emotions and desires and the like. And since you don’t need to make far-reaching changes to the past or whatever to really abuse the power of E’s World, it’s likely that I can get more than one use per person out of this thing – unlike that one case you were telling me about.”
              A hint of disgust flashed across Viletta’s face. Even with that limit, Zero had been quite the nuisance. “Huh…that’s a dangerously concise and effective analogy. I guess it may as well be true as long as you’re responsible in using that power.”
              “All right, I’ll try and keep that theory in mind…You know, you remind me of someone who works on this very base.”
              “Yeah, she’s always cool and collected, and looking for off-the-wall ways to make things better…and get this, she’s ALSO named Viletta.”
              “What is she, like, my parallel universe twin?”
              “Not quite. You might want to meet her before you leave, though. She’s not on duty today, but I’ve got her address.”
              “…Huh, OK. It’ll be something to do until that ‘Time Shunt Discrepancy’ your warp jockey was talking about resolves itself.”
              “Yeah, Gilliam is really hard-headed about NOT fixing that, for some reason. Regardless, we can’t send you back ‘til tomorrow morning, so feel free to blow through your pay this afternoon – or at least invest it in something valuable in your world. How’s gold generally fare?”
              “About the same as over here. Might be worth stopping by a jewelry store or something on the way to see your Viletta.”
              “That’s the spirit!”
              As the two left the medical bay and parted their separate ways, Viletta couldn’t help but ponder what her namesake would be like…whether they looked similar…whether her skin would be as deliciously soft…
              Wait a minute…
              “Son of a BITCH, she GOT ME!”

[a few minutes’ subway ride later…]

              Well, let’s at least get this over with… Viletta Nu tried to swallow her pride as she approached the door to Viletta Vadim’s apartment. A quick jab at the doorbell button and…
              “Who is it?”
              “I’m the ‘specialist’ who came to see Miss Browning today. She said it’d be worth meeting you.”
              “Oh, yes, Miss Nu. Hang on a moment…” Some faintly audible shuffling noises, then silence, then footsteps. She must’ve just made herself decent or something.
              The door opened, revealing to Nu a woman who was quite unlike previous expectations. The obvious differences were in Vadim’s Caucasian skin and deep blue hair, but Nu was a bit more concerned about the askew-ness of said hair and the half-zipped status of her jacket. “Am I interrupting something…personal? I apologize if I am, I can come back later-“
              “Oh, no, no, no. I was just kinda busy rocking out, but I had to turn down the stereo because I heard about your world’s…animosity towards Japanese culture.”
              “Rocking out? Miss Browning implied you were on the offbeat side, but I’d still expected someone kind of…I’m not exactly sure how to put it, but sort of more like myself…”
              “Someone more…’hard-boiled’?”
              “You could call it that.”
              “Well, if you’re that interested in my hard-boiled side, then feel free to come in.”
              “Yeah, about that…I’m not sure how much of it is me actually being interested and how much is left over from Excellen suckering me with her new crazy eye powers.”
              “…If you can even ASK that question, you need to get in here RIGHT NOW.” Vadim half-pulled a confused Nu across the threshold.

[on Viletta Vadim’s couch…]

              “You were there for THAT incident?”
              “Yep. You might even say I’m the reason the incident took place to begin with.”
              “What happened? Harassment suit?”
              “It’s a little more complicated than that. I’ve actually been trying to fictionalize it in doujinshi form; I’ll print you a copy later if you want.”
              “…From what I’ve heard already, I think I’ll wait for the novelization.”
              “Eh, it’s not important anyway. What IS is the fact that you’re here because of Excellen. As one of her original ‘guinea pigs’, I know that her Geass works by suggesting the target do certain things…Given the means by which she acquired it, these suggestions are innocent when literally interpreted, but become more and more lewd as you attempt to interpret or resist them.”
              “Lewd? Like, if I’d waited another couple hours or so, I’d be wanting to-“
              “It may already be too late. We had wound up ‘complying’ in a matter of seconds.”
              “Then when she said I should see you, she meant that I should-“
              Face flush with doubt, Nu began to disrobe.
              “You don’t have to do it right NOW if you don’t want to-“
              “I’d rather get it out of the way before I’m liable to go crazy whether I do or don’t.”
              “Hard-boiled even when trapped in a fit of breezy passion. I like that.” Vadim leaned in to kiss Nu, arms poised to assist in getting her out of the rest of her ornate dress…only to lean in a little too far, knocking Nu’s head over the armrest.
              And onto the power switch for the previously deactivated stereo.

Mata dare ka ga Totsuzen door wo tataku
Jiken no yokan Welcome to windy city
Kono machi ni wa Namida wa niawanai ze
Yami ni hisomu keyword Mitsukedasou! (Mitsukedasou!)

              “Shit, shit, shit! You’re not into this sort of music!”
              “…Leave it on. I don’t mind.”
              “But I thought you Britannians were all-“
              “It grows on you after a bit. And I think, right now, this song is speaking to me.”

Hitori de wa todokanai yume
“Kensaku suru mugen no archive! Kioku toiu umi e to dive!”
Kimi to nara kanaerareru half and half! (half and half!)
(W-Boiled Extreme!)

              “Huh, it IS strangely appropriate given our predicament.”
              “Predicament? More like a happy accident, if you ask me.” Nu rose to return the favor, lips beelining for Vadim’s as one hand moved to completely unzip her jacket and the other braced itself to set the woman down easy.

W-B-X! Futari no body and soul!
(Hoka ni nai sa only! Tsumari ainori)
Hitotsu ni
W-B-X! Saikou no partner Deau toki (Deau toki)
Kiseki okoru (so we can make it!)
Double wo sagase!
              Hands fumbled across bodies as Vadim and Nu raced to get each other naked first. Lost in a wholly unintended interpretation of the lyrics, the two moved to keep each other stimulated…
              Then Vadim felt a light kick as she caressed Nu’s abdomen.
              “What the…this whole time, you’ve been pregnant?”
              “I’m only about three months in. I figured I’d be safe until the bulge set in.”
              “Do you know if it’ll be-“
              “A boy. But we hadn’t decided on a name yet.”
              “…Just off the top of my head, I’m thinking ‘Sieg.’”
              “Means a lot of things in a lot of languages, but I guess we’d count it as ‘one who is above it all’…just like you.”
              “You’re not just saying that ‘cause I’m on top, are you?”
              “Like I said, just off the top of my head.”
              “I can think of better things to be ON top of your head.” Nu twisted into 69 position, taking care to set baby down on Vadim’s natural cushions. “Y’know, they say sending the baby ‘good vibrations’ is vital during pregnancy.”
              “I don’t think they can get any better than this.”

[a couple hours of tongue work later…]

              *pant, pant* “…That’s…probably the best I’ve had in a while…”
              “Likewise…I’m not even sure if I’ll get this sort of treatment again for years…”
              “Well, maybe lil’ Sieg will deliver in other ways soon enough…”
              “You’re still on that, are you?”
              “Well, I don’t see you thinking of any other good baby names.”
              “…What about ‘Momo’?”
              “Sounds a little diminutive for a boy’s name.”
              “Perhaps…but I think its meaning of ‘always at climax’ is rather timely.”
              “…You might be taking it a little too literally, but it works.”



              A serious-looking man in a fisherman’s hat watched as Viletta Nu left Viletta Vadim’s apartment, a confident gait in her step. “Excellen Browning…Even with gifts of pleasure, your World of Bliss threatens those around it…If I cannot stop the connection of the worlds with Decade’s blood, then it must be with yours…”

[To Be Continued in Lewd Kamen Senshi Haken 1/W00 FINAL: Destroy All Overlords/Connect All Overlords Melee]

(Special thanks to Gold Sushi, Animelyrics.com, and other repositories of toku lyrics.)

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