Wednesday, December 2, 2009

AWHB Stories: Loo The Dew

Loo the Dew
An adult Super Robot Wars fanfic by /m/’s Andy Waltfeld

The break room at Langley Base was about as sparsely populated as its refrigerator – something Excellen Browning lamented in her search for a post-training beverage. Normally the Weissritter pilot wouldn’t have given the converted meeting room a second thought and just used the vending machine in the hallway, but reports of a vagabond with a strange belt camping near it were making personnel wary of where they took their loose change.

“Food, food, empty, old food, REALLY old food…” As Excellen rattled off the contents of the fridge’s shelves, she became more and more convinced that she’d have to take her chances fighting with the hobo for her Coke money. “More old fo-waaaaaait a minute, what’s THIS?” An all-too familiar substance caught Excellen’s eyes as she leveled them with the top shelf.

“’Ladies’ Genki Drink – Free Samples’. Good Lord, she’s gone and reformulated it again.” The “she” in question was, of course, Kusuha Mizuha – one of the tandem pilots of the Choukijin, purveyor of strange spices, and creator of the original Genki Drink and its revisions, strange brews that were downright unpalatable to all but the most alien of tongues, yet left their imbibers energized and alert for hours beyond the duration of their aftertaste.

Pondering the dubbing of this newest batch as a “Ladies’” drink and weighing the pros of increased nightlife potential against the cons of being stuck vomiting for the first twenty minutes, Excellen finally decided that she was parched enough to take the gamble. Cautiously taking one of the mini-cups from the fridge and closing the door, she braced for the drink’s telltale bitterness…

…And found herself tasting pretty much the same orange soda that the energy drink resembled. “Huh. Either someone’s pulling a cheap prank or she finally got it right this time.” Her thirst quenched, Excellen proceeded to stroll out of the break room to find Kusuha and compliment her success – or enlist her services in rooting out any pranksters taking advantage of her reputation.

Several seconds after entering the hallway, however, something stopped her in her tracks. ‘Huh, that doesn’t feel like the kick from your average drink…’ Excellen turned towards the restroom doors, expecting the other shoe to drop in the form of some sickness that accompanied previous occasions in which the Genki Drink started awesome and turned awful rather than the reverse.

Instead, Excellen found herself dropping – to the knees, but not quite from illness or exhaustion. ‘Wha? Something weird’s going on with every step I take! But like, good weird.’ Determined to get her bearings back and figure out what the drink was doing, Excellen made further haste to the restroom and secured an empty stall. But purging the energy drink wasn’t on her mind, and relieving herself was…merely the eloquent way of saying what she was about to do.


Taking a seat on the toilet and slipping her panties forward, Excellen pinpointed the cause of the strange spasms. “Well, well, I don’t believe THIS is supposed to be THAT big…” Somehow, the Genki Drink had engorged her clitoris to an abnormal size even for the most intense of natural stimulation. “Looks like you were DYING for attention, rubbing against my panties like that. Don’t worry, though, Big Sis Excell is gonna take her sweet time with-“

“So…somebody decided to take a sample after all.”

Aww, and here I thought I was gonna have this bathroom to myself for another few minutes… “Kusuha…Isn’t this kind of an awkward time for a customer feedback session? Like, could I just send in a postcard or-“

“Oh no, I need to do this ASAP to make sure it’s stayed stable since this morning. And given the intended effect, I’ll need to…observe you.”

“Aw HELL naw. Just because you and Bullet haven’t bothered getting past second base doesn’t give you the right to-oh, for crying out loud.” Apparently anticipating Excellen’s refusal, Kusuha had begun crawling under the stall door, only to wind up stuck thanks to her DD-cup chest. (ANDY’S NOTE: I forget whether these are Es or Fs on the “Everyone Else Besides the United States” scale.) “…Well, I guess if you’re THAT desperate, I’ll consider bending my rules just this once. But first, you’ll have to tell me what you put in that stuff.”

“Oh, nothing – urgh – too exotic. Just some ancient Chinese herbs for vitality and…erm…virility…”
“Well, luckily you seem to have dodged the usual bullets, but I notice you usually use Ryusei or Bullet as your guinea pigs. Did you really expect to sell this new Genki Drink on blind reckoning?”
“I was afraid somebody would say that, so I brought an extra can as sort of a trust thing. Let me take a drink before I come in, OK?”


“Uh, Kusuha, how much was in the sample cups?”

“About three, maybe four fluid ounces.”

“And that can you just drank was your standard twelve-ounce, right?”


“Whatever you’re using as the virility supplement, you MIGHT want to back off on if you expect to sell Ladies’ Genki Drink outside of the adult video store and/or Hot Topic.” Sure enough, chugging a whole can of the fluid that gave Excellen a swollen clit ended up turning Kusuha’s into a moderately-sized penis. “I sure don’t see much of a use except as a marital aid if this keeps up.”

Kusuha winced as Excellen took to her natural habit of teasing the seven-inch shaft. “I-I’m definitely having second thoughts about the powdered gecko tail…”

“Aww, don’t be like that. I mean, individual results may vary. Ask your doctor if Ladies’ Genki Drink: Red Rocket Strength is right for you. And it sure looks right for me.” With that, Excellen began dampening the tip with her tongue.

“Oh God, I don’t know how this is really supposed to…or if I can even…OH GOD SOMETHING’S ABOUT TO-“ Sensing Kusuha’s panic at her first round of male stimulation, Excellen quickly deepthroated the overloading member in time to catch her first load. “*pant* *pant* What the…How’d you-“

Excellen slowly pulled away, licking some stray semen from her lips. “Hmmm…a slightly orange tint, complementing an equally slight hint of salt. Not bad for a first-timer…Oh, I guess you’re wondering about my ‘grenade jumper’ technique? Well, I figured if the literal version worked on Mythbusters, then...”

“This is…something you’ve practiced?”

“Maaaaaaaaaybe.” Rising from the toilet, Excellen embraced Kusuha in such a manner as to send at least one arm fumbling for whatever was keeping her outfit on. “Y’know what,” she whispered, “As long as we’re here and you’re still hard, what say we work on some…control exercises?”

Kusuha replied by returning the hug and the intent to undress. In a matter of seconds, the two were undressed and contemplating whether they should’ve taken the handicapped stall instead.

“All right, the best way to go about this is the old-fashioned one. You stick it in and start thrusting, I’ll push this little red button a couple times, and you try to buck your hips such that you don’t shoot off until we’re both ready for it, OK?”

“O-OK…Are you sure you really want it in your-“

“It’s not the weirdest thing that’s rooted around in there, and I’ve been running the pill for a while.” With her clit yet to recede to normal, Excellen didn’t need to spread much to accept Kusuha into her.
“All right, putting it in…now!” The first thrust carried almost the same shock as Excellen’s tongue work and subsequent “grenade jump,” but receded as the warmth and pressure of her pussy provided counterbalance. “Aaaah…I’m not sure if I can last…”

“Don’t worry, you’re doing fine. Just – ah! – stick with it for – ah! – another minute or so…” With Kusuha’s pushes doing the work of rubbing her own love button, Excellen moved a hand down the small of her back, across her ass and thigh, eventually slipping a couple fingers into the blue-haired pilot’s own vagina.

“Ahh…I thought this was about learning how to hold it in!”

“I lied. So how does it feel? The pleasure of a man and a woman at the same time? I bet you’re dying to let go from both your magic spots right now!

“Oh yes…please…I mean, as long as you’re gonna-“

“I will…just keep pushing…” Excellen’s fingers matched Kusuha’s penis thrust for thrust as three climaxes rang out across the two women. “Aaaaaahhhh, I can’t believe you have so much!”

“N…Neither can I…I-I don’t think I want it to stop!...Hah, spoke too soon…


“Well, it looks like with the powdered gecko tail cut down to about a fourth, Ladies’ Genki Drink is hitting it off in the convenience-store market.”

“Huh. I didn’t expect you to go public this fast.”

“Well, to tell the truth, I’m selling a limited run of Red Rocket to help cover the costs of producing the worksafe version.”

“I should have figured as much…”

“How so?”

“Picked up a case last night.”


“…Well, I guess if you’re THAT desperate, I’ll consider bending my rules just this once. But first, you’ll have to tell me what you put in that stuff.”

“Oh, nothing – urgh – too exotic. Just some ancient Chinese herbs for vitality and…erm…virility…”
“Ancient Chinese…” Excellen’s gaze turned to follow a strange glint out of the corner of her eye, eventually stopping on the User Interface. Sure enough, her Musou Gauge was full. “I…think I’ll take your word for it.”

A world away in the men’s room, Brooklyn “Bullet” Luckfield proudly declared that he’d defeated an officer.

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